1. Communication can take on many forms depending on who is involved and on the purpose of the interaction.
    1. Some theorists distinguish interpersonal from other kinds of communication by taking a situational approach, while others take a developmental approach.
    1. The situational approach differentiates types of communication by focusing on external situational factors like number of people involve and physical proximity.
      1. The most minimal form of communication under the situational approach is intrapersonal communication.
        1. Intrapersonal communication is one-person communication.
        2.  Daydreaming, fantasizing, and working out a problem in your head are examples of intrapersonal communication.
      2. The next form of communication is interpersonal communication; generally it takes place face-to-face, although it can be mediated.
        1. Interpersonal communication is also known as dyadic communication.
        2.  Chatting with a friend or having a conference with a professor are examples.
      3. When more people are added to the interaction, small-group communication occurs.
        1. The lower limit of a small group is three persons. When a group becomes so large that members cannot interact freely it is no longer a small group.
        2. In groups communication becomes more complex and roles become more formalized.
        3. Students working together on a group project or work teams are examples.
      4. When a single speaker addresses a large group simultaneously, he or she engages in face-to-face public communication.
        1. Clear organization, careful planning, and a fairly formal style are hallmarks of public communication.
        2. A politician, an evangelist, or a lecturer in a mass- enrollment course is an example.
      5. When speaker and audience are separated by an interposed channel, mediated public or mass communication occurs.
      6. As the number of interactants increases, changes occur.
        1. Physical proximity increases, feedback becomes less immediate, roles become formalized, and goals are planned and structured. It become harder to adapt messages to listeners’ specific needs.
        2. Because situations overlap, it is possible to engage in more than one form of communication at a time. In fact, most forms of communication have an interpersonal dimension.
        3. Situationally, interpersonal communication can be defined as dyadic communication in which two individuals, sharing the roles of sender and receiver, become connected through the mutual activity of creating meaning.
    1. Whereas the situational approach takes a quantitative approach to defining interpersonal communication, the developmental approach takes a more qualitative approach.
      1. According to this approach initial interactions start as impersonal and only over time do they become interpersonal.
      2. Developmental theorists distinguish between three levels of information exchanged during interaction.
        1. Cultural level data is general information available to most others within our culture.
        2. Sociological level data is based on membership groups to which we belong.
      • b. Psychological level is based on unique, personal attributes.
  2. 3. According to the developmental approach, only when communication reaches the psychological level does dyadic communication become interpersonal.
    1. Whether or not you take the situational or developmental approach, it is true that some forms of dyadic communication are deeper and more profound than others.
  3. One purpose of interpersonal communication is the creation of relationships.
    1. Communication scholars look at relationships from several perspectives.
      1. Some scholars see relationships as constellations of behaviors.
      2. Others focus on the cognitive activity that takes place as we think about relationships, looking at the relational prototypes we use to evaluate relationships.
      3. Still others focus on relationships as cultures.
      4. Finally, dialectical theorists uncover the contradictory forces that define relationships.
    1. Relationships develop in characteristic ways.
      1. They begin with awareness.
      2. They develop through coordinated interaction or joint actions.
      3. As relationships unfold, partners analyze and evaluate them.
        1. The relationship is stored in MOPs.
        2. It is compared to a prototype consisting of a natural language label, communicative indicators, and communicative indicators.
      1. Relationships are also influenced by outside forces, including crossover.
      1. Once in place, relationships can control us as much as we control them.
      1. Relationships are maintained through communication.
  4. Communication about basic issues determines the shape relationships take.
  5. For purposes of analysis, we can think of two general kinds of relationships: private and public.
    1. Private relationships are close, personal relationships. Examples are sexual pairs, kinship pairs, and friends.
      1. In private relationships, members are irreplaceable.
      2. Members are also interdependent.
      3. Their way of knowing is particular.
      4. They are governed by individualistic rules.
      5. The tone is sentimental.
      6. Rewards are primarily intrinsic.
    2. Public relationships are impersonal and practical. Examples are strangers, colleagues, and work partners.
      1. In public relationships, members are substitutable.
      2. Members are relatively autonomous.
      3. Their way of knowing is universal.
      4. They are governed by normative rules.
      5. The tone is practical.
      6. Rewards are primarily extrinsic.
    3. As partners communicate about basic issues, actual relationships take form.
      1. The two types of relationships described are extremes; most actual relationships occur between the poles of public and private.
      2. As time passes, relationships fluctuate and change.
      3. Different skills are necessary for different kinds of relationships.
      4. Relational profiles are negotiated over time, through both content and relational messages.
    4. One way to sum up the difference between private and public relationships is to see them as poles in a dialectic between independence and conformity.
      1. As a culture we tend to value personal over public relationships.
      2. Despite this, public relationships are important because they affirm social order and help us develop a sense of separateness.
      3. The tension between closeness and distance means that we need both public and private relationships.
  6. It takes skill in communication to become relationally competent.
  7. The communication competences discussed in chapter one have a part to play in building healthy relationships.
    1. Interpretive competence allows us to understand the context of relationships.
    2. Goal competence allows us to find ways to satisfy our own needs and those of our partners.
    3. Role competence tells us what is appropriate for a given relationship, allowing us to become optimally competent.
    4. Message competence shows us how to adapt messages for our partners and to decode their messages to us.
    5. Finally, self competence gives us the confidence to do the work of relationshipping.
  8. Healthy relationships differ from unhealthy relationships in a number of ways.
    1. In a healthy relationship, both partners share a vision of where the relationship is and where it is going.
    2. Partners negotiate clear rules that work to the benefit of the relationship.
    3. There is a shared work ethic.
    4. Metacommunication is valued.
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