1. As a class, offer your own perceptions of the "ideal" family. How do your versions differ from the one described in your book? Is there any harm in the fact that real families rarely live up to the ideal?
  2. Discuss the appropriateness as well as the benefits and negative consequences of allowing children to be influential in the family decision-making structure. Is it better, for instance, that children "be seen and not heard," or for them to be treated as small adults with somewhat equal input and negotiating power? What other issues are at stake here?
  3. How can families balance the tensions of enmeshment and disengagement as discussed in this chapter? How do members of your own family signal when they need to be alone or in the company of others? Is it possible to designate "alone time" or "together time" for different family subsystems and the whole family? Discuss the value or harmful consequences of separate vacations for family members.
  4. Another way to enhance discussion about family life is to identify the ways that families achieve each of the family functions. Discuss positive and negative communication patterns associated with each function.
  5. As mentioned in the text, some critics believe that too many family functions have been taken over by other social institutions. Schools have the major responsibility for intellectual development and even socialization. Day-care personnel or baby-sitters feed, clothe, and play with our children. This leaves the family with the primary function of giving emotional support. What are the risks of having the family "specialize" in only one or two functions? Does it place too much of an emotional burden on family members, especially when other activities and functions become "foreign" to the family?
  6. Starting with the descriptions of couple types described in your book, try to logically deduce the type of family (open, closed, or random; enmeshed or disengaged) that each couple type is most likely to produce. Is this a viable way to predict the evolution of a family? Why or why not?
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