Document – Excerpt from Mary Rowlandson, The Sovereignty and Goodness of God (1682)

Excerpt

My Child being even ready to depart this sorrowful world, they bade me carry it out to another Wigwam (I suppose because they would not be troubled with such spectacles) Whither I went with a very heavy heart, and down I sat with the picture of death in my lap. About two houres in the night, my sweet Babe, like a lamb departed this life, on Feb. 18. 1675, it being about six years and five months old. … I cannot but take notice, how at another time I could not bear to be in the room where any dead person was, but now the case [was] changed; I must and could ly down by my dead Babe, side by side all the night after. I have thought since of the wonderfull goodness of God to me, in preserving me in the use of my reason and senses, in that distressed time, that I did not use wicked and violent means to end my own miserable life. In the morning … I went to take up my dead child in my arms to carry it with me, but they bid me let it alone: there was no resisting, but goe I must and leave it. … I took the first opportunity I could get, to go look after my dead child: when I came I askt them what they had done with it? Then they told me it was upon the hill: then they went and shewed me where it was, where I saw the ground was newly digged, and there they told me they had buried it. There I left that Child in the Wilderness, and must commit it, and my self also in this Wilderness-condition, to him who is above all. God having taken away this dear Child, I went to see my daughter Mary, who was [for a while] at this same Indian Town, at a Wigwam not very far off, though we had little liberty or opportunity to see one another; she was about ten years old. … When I came in sight, she would fall a weeping; at which they were provoked, and would not let me come near her, but bade me be gone; which was a heart-cutting word to me. I had one Child dead, another in the Wilderness, I knew not where, the third they would not let me come near to ….

[two weeks later]

On the Saturday, they boyled an old Horses leg which they had got, and so we drank of the broth, as soon as they thought it was ready … The first week of my being among them, I hardly ate anything; the second week, I found my stomach grow very faint for want of something; and yet it was very hard to get down their filthy trash: but the third week, though I could think how formerly my stomach would turn against this or that, and I could starve or die before I could eat such things, yet they were sweet and savory to my taste. … And here I cannot but take notice of the strange providence of God in preserving the heathen: They were many hundreds, old and young, some sick, and some lame, many had Papooses at their backs, the greatest number at this time with us, were Squaws, and they traveled with all they had, bag and baggage, and yet they got over the River; and on Munday, they set their Wigwams on fire, and away they went: On that very same day came the English Army after them to this River, and saw the smoak of their Wigwams, and yet this River put a stop to them …

On Munday (as I said), they set their Wigwams on fire, and went away. It was a cold morning, and before us there was a great Brook with ice on it; some waded through it, up to the knees & higher, but others went till they came to a Beaver dam, and I amongst them, where through the good providence of God, I did not wet my foot.¹ I went along that day mourning and lamenting, leaving farther my own Country, an traveling into the vast and howling Wilderness, and I understood something of Lots’ Wife’s² Temptations, when she looked back: We came that day to a great Swamp, by the side of which we took up our lodging that night. When I came to the brow of the hill,that looked toward the Swamp, I thought we had been come to a great Indian Town (though there were none but our own Company). The Indians were as thick as the trees; it seemed as if there had been a thousand Hatchets going at once: if one looked before one, there was nothing but Indians, and behind one, nothing but Indians, and so on either hand, I myself in the midst, and no Christian soul near me ….

On the morrow morning we must go over the River, i.e. Connecticot, to meet with King Philip, two Cannoos full, they had carried over, the next Turn I myself was to go; but as my foot was upon the Cannoo to stop in, there was a sudden out-cry among them, and I must step back; and instead of going over the River, I must go four or five miles up the River farther Northward. Some of the Indians ran one way, and some another. The cause of this rout was, as I thought, their espying some English Scouts, who were thereabout. In this travel up the river, about noon the Company made a stop, and sat down; some to eat, and others to rest them. As I sate amongst them, musing of things past, my son Joseph unexpectedly came to me: we asked of each others welfare, bemoaning our dolefull condition, and the change that had come upon us ….I asked him whither he would read; he told me, he earnestly desired it. I gave him my Bible,³ and he lighted upon that comfortable scripture, Psal. 118.17, 18. I shall not dye but live, and declare the works of the Lord: the Lord hath chastened me sore, yet he hath not given me over to death. Look here, Mother (sayes he), did you read this? … We traveled on till night; and in the morning, we must go over the River to Philip’s crew. When I was in the Cannoo, I could not but be amazed at the numerous crew of Pagans that were on the Bank on the other side. When I came ashore, they gathered all about me, I sitting alone in the midst: I observed they asked one another questions, and laughed, and rejoyced over their Gains and Victories. Then my heart began to fail: and I fell a weeping which was the first time to my remembrance,that I wept before them. Although I had met with so much Affliction, and my heart was many times ready to break, yet could I not shed one tear in their sight: but rather had been all this while in a maze [that is, amazed, stunned], like one astonished: but now I may say as Psal. 137.1 By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down: yea, we wept when we remembered Zion. There one of them asked me, why I wept, I could hardly tell what to say: yet I answered, they would kill me: No, said he, none will hurt you. Then came on of them and gave me two spoon-fulls of Meal to comfort me, and another gave me half a pint of Pease; which was more worth than many Bushels at another time⁴. Then I went to see King Philip, he bade me come in and sit down, and asked me whether I would smoke …