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Activity 1
Using the scenarios below, discuss the various uses and abuses of language that are presented in the case, answering the questions below. Try to include as many of the uses (or abuses) from the material studied in the chapter as you can.
Nursing Scenario
Every time Isabella works the night shift following Alice’s day shift, patient bedside work is incomplete, including patient communication charts. Isabella knows that this is dangerous for the patients and is frustrating for the next shift because they need to figure out where tasks left off. This has been happening now for the last three weeks. When Alice arrived this morning for her shift, Isabella left her a note on the desk that said, “You need to have a better work ethic! Patients are going to die! I’m tired of spending my shift figuring out where things left off.” Alice was confused about the message, but mostly she was mad. She showed the note to the charge nurse who was working that morning, and said, “Isabella can go screw herself. What a self-centred, perfect little nurse she thinks she is!” Isabella is scheduled to work the next night shift.
Every time Alice works the day shift following Isabella’s night shift, Alice is confronted with a negative attitude. This morning, she found a note on the desk that said she is going to kill patients if she doesn’t start doing her job right. What? Alice will kill patients? This is infuriating for Alice, and how dare anyone suggest something so awful and be so mean at work! After reporting the incident to Barb, the nurse manager, Alice is waiting after her shift for Isabella to arrive so she can give her a piece of her mind.
Questions to consider:
- How do you think the language choices that Isabella and Alice made to communicate with one another affected their situation?
- What examples of disruptive language are used?
- What higher-level abstractions did Isabella and Alice use? Provide an example of how each could use specific language to improve this situation.
- Provide one example of “I” language that both Isabella and Alice could have used to make their communication more effective.
Business Scenario
Ky and Ari, the marketing representatives for a private company, were both assigned similar tasks of “schmoozing” two different public marketing companies (Bill, at Mantracks; and Dale, at Fullmetal respectively) to explore ideas for improving their company’s current marketing campaign. Their tasks were to make nice with the marketing director of each company at the upcoming Shoot for the Market Party and bring back campaign ideas based on the information they received from their meetings. At the party, Ky noticed that Ari was speaking with both Bill and Dale, and overheard her speaking about marketing strategies with both companies. Ky tried to join in on their conversation, but it was pretty much over. The next morning, Ky spoke briefly to Ari about his dislike of the situation, to which Ari replied, “Hey, at least I got the information we were supposed to get!” Ky complained to his director about this, claiming that Ari is a “self-centred know-it-all” who seems to always undermine him and his work.
Ari is a marketing representative who has been in the business for fifteen years. She has to work with Ky, who just started out in the field a year ago and doesn’t even have any formal academic education in marketing and sales. Ari is continually frustrated because their firm’s director has asked her to take Ky under her wing to show him the ropes. In the last conversation Ari had with their director, Ari was frustrated and said, “I am not a babysitter for someone who can’t even walk yet!” She apologized to their director and explained how frustrated she is with having to take so much time and energy with someone who clearly doesn’t have a clue about marketing and should maybe start by answering the phones, not going out to land potential accounts.
Questions to consider:
- How do you think the language choices that Ari and Ky made to communicate with one another affected the atmosphere of the marketing office?
- What examples of disruptive language are used?
- What higher-level abstractions did Ky use? Provide an example of how he could use specific language to improve his situation.
- Provide one example of “I” language that Ky could have used to make their communication more effective.
Communication Scenario
Nolan and Joshua were paired together to work on a project for their human relations class. After two weeks both Nolan and Joshua separately came to see their professor to complain about the work of the other. Nolan complained that Joshua was “lazy and irresponsible” and didn’t take the project seriously because he rarely responded to emails regarding the progress of their work. Joshua complained that Nolan was “a control freak and arrogant” and expected the project to be done only his way on his deadlines. The project is due next week and there is no time for the professor to re-assign partnerships.
You are a professor for a human relations class. One of the projects you assigned this semester is a group project to be completed in pairs. The project is about emotional intelligence and how to develop as a team with group formation of norms and cohesion. Each semester you teach this course, there is always at least one group who falls apart and asks to be re-assigned to other group members. This is a challenging assignment and your time is mostly spent coaching students on how to work together and manage their own emotional intelligence. You continue to do this assignment, knowing the extra work it causes you, because you believe that the information students learn through this activity helps to prepare them for life. And, given that this is a human relations class, these are valuable life skills that students need to learn to get along with the world around them.
Questions to consider:
- How do you think the language choices that Nolan and Joshua made to communicate with one another affected the completion of the project?
- What examples of disruptive language are used?
- What higher-level abstractions are they using? Provide an example of how they could use specific language to improve their situation.
- Provide one example of “I” language that could be used to make their communication more effective.
Activity 2
Gender Differences in Communication
Women tend to be the relationship specialists and men tend to be task specialists. Women are typically the experts in “rapport talk,” which refers to the types of communication that build, maintain, and strengthen relationships. Rapport talk reflects skills of talking, nurturing, emotional expression, empathy, and support. Men are typically the experts in task accomplishment and addressing questions about facts. They are experts in “report talk,” which refers to the types of communication that analyze issues and solve problems. Report talk reflects skills of competition, analyzing, and focusing aggressively on task accomplishment.
These differences can create specific, and commonly experienced, misunderstandings. Can you identify the sources of confusion in the following examples?
Misunderstanding #1
He: I'm really tired. I have so much work to do—I don't know how I'm going to get it done!
She: Me, too. There just aren't enough hours in the day!
He: There you go again! You never think my contributions to this marriage are good enough!
Misunderstanding #2
She: I'm really tired. I have so much work to do—I don't know how I'm going to get it done!
He: Why don't you take a day off and rest, if you're so tired?
She: (sarcastically) Thanks a lot! You think my contribution to this household is so trivial that I can do nothing and the difference won't even be noticed?
Misunderstanding #3
She: Call me when you get there and let me know you made it safely.
He: That's ridiculous! Nothing bad is going to happen, so just trust that I'll get there safely! If something bad does happen, I'm sure you'll hear about it!
Activity 3
Low-Context vs. High-Context Language Barriers
College roommates Jorge and Kevin are from the same hometown as Sam, who lives across the hall and has a car. Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and both men need to find a ride home. One night while watching a football game in Sam’s room, the following conversation occurs:
Jorge says to Sam: “Are you driving home for Thanksgiving?” [Maybe he’ll give me a ride.]
Sam: “Yep.” [If he wanted a ride, he’d ask.]
Kevin: “Well, I’d like a ride home.”
Sam: “Sure, no problem.”
Jorge: “Are you taking anyone else?” [I wonder if he still has room for me.]
Sam: “Nope. I’m leaving early, after my last class on Tuesday and not coming back until late Sunday evening.” [I guess Jorge already has a ride home.]
Jorge: “Well, enjoy Thanksgiving.” [If he wanted to give me a ride, I gave him several opportunities to offer. I guess I’ll take the bus.]
Can you identify the respective cultural backgrounds of Jorge and Sam, and how their use of language led to confusion and misinterpretation?