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Activity 1
For the following scenarios, consider the conversation that might take place. Explain how the principles of interpersonal communication can impact the outcome of each interaction. Provide one example that illustrates each of the principles of communication. The sample scenario below provides one possible example for one of the principles.
- Communication is transactional.
- Communication can be intentional or unintentional.
- Communication has a content and a relational dimension.
- Communication is irreversible.
- Communication is unrepeatable.
Sample Scenario
Dave has finally found the courage to confront his brother, Jay, about his drug addiction. He knows that the conversation is not going to be easy, given how angry he is about his brother’s poor choices and downward-spiralling life.
Example response for communication can be intentional or unintentional.
When Jay tries to convince Dave that he doesn’t have an addiction and insists that Dave should stay out of his business, Dave rolls his eyes and interrupts Jay stating, ‘It is my business! You are ruining your life and I don’t like it!’
Dave’s rolling of his eyes is an unintentional gesture that creates meaning for Jay—it could make Jay angry, or it could unintentionally tell Jay how frustrated Dave is.
Nursing Scenario
Gina was scheduled to meet with Barb, her nurse manager, following an incident with a patient that ended in a complaint by the patient’s family. Gina knows that Barb will be speaking to her about her professionalism and tact in a stressful situation, but feels that her behaviour with the patient was necessary. She told the patient to “be quiet” and “stop acting like a baby” while administering an IV to the patient.
Barb is a nurse manager at a local hospital. Barb has been in nursing for twenty-four years and has seen the health care field change through both ups and downs. She is responsible for fourteen staff members, mostly licensed practical nurses and registered nurses, and all fourteen staff members report to her for their unit. On any given week, Barb receives at least three complaints from either patients or visitors about a staff member’s attitude or communication. Today, Barb is meeting with Gina. Barb was told that Gina used excessive force and rude comments to restrain a patient while administering an IV to the patient. Barb is prepared to tell Gina she needs patient leadership coaching to help her find better ways of communicating.
Business Scenario
Norm, the director of a manufacturing department, sent out an email to all staff indicating that all requests for vacation time in December will be denied due to production quotas. Under no circumstances would vacation requests be granted and no “horse-trading” of shifts was allowed for this month. Wes, an employee, needs to make a request for special circumstances since his wife is scheduled to deliver their first child on 15 December.
Wes has been working with the manufacturing department for eight years. He is the most senior person on staff and has been in the department longer than the director or any senior leadership other than the owners of the new company. Wes’s wife has been on bed rest for the past two weeks and is scheduled for a C-section for their first child in December.
Wes received an email from Norm, the director of the manufacturing department, which said, “Under no circumstances will vacation be honoured in December and no one should call in sick or horse-trade any of their shifts.” Wes took personal offense to this email and he responded with, “We are not horse-traders, if I want to take time off and need to call in sick, I guess that is what I will have to do. December is flu season.” Since sending the email he has felt bad but is so overwhelmed with work and balance at home. He is also worried about his unborn child. Wes has received a calendar notification to meet with Norm to discuss the email.
Communication Scenario
Scott and Melissa just had a major argument about their financial situation, causing the both of them to agree to practise wise spending. For Scott, this means playing poker with his friends only twice a month (as opposed to once a week) and for Melissa, this means going out for lunch with her friends only twice a month (as opposed to once or twice a week). Scott just got a call from his friend asking about including him in the poker tournament that is being held next week, but the buy-in is double what Scott would spend during a night of poker with his friends. He really wants to go and told his friend to count him in. He now needs to discuss this decision with Melissa, which is sure to cause a major argument.
Melissa has been committed to wise spending as she and Scott agreed to tighten their belts and budgets. She is happy that she has found other creative ways to spend time with her friends without spending money on lunches and coffee dates. She has been packing lunch for work and she and her friends have been having picnics and meeting together for a bite to eat and a walk in the park. Melissa feels like she needed to have that tough conversation with Scott to see how much money she was wasting on eating out each month. She is excited to talk to Scott about how much money they are saving and how she has felt the sacrifice is now a blessing.
Activity 2
Distinguishing Content and Relational Messages
Content and relational messages serve different communication functions. Being able to distinguish between them is prerequisite to using and responding to them effectively. How would you communicate both the content and the relational messages in the following situations?
- After a date that you didn’t enjoy and don’t want to repeat ever again, you want to express your sincere thanks, but you don’t want to be misinterpreted as communicating any indication that you would go on another date with this person.
- You’re ready to commit yourself to a long-term relationship but want your partner to sign a prenuptial agreement before moving any further in the relationship. You need to communicate both your desire to keep your money and to move the relationship to the next level.
- You’re interested in dating a friend on Facebook who attends the same college you do and with whom you’ve been chatting for a few weeks. But you don’t know if the feeling is mutual. You want to ask for the date but to do so in a way that, if you’re turned down, won’t be embarrassing.