Understanding Your Communication: What is Your Love Language?

Understanding Interpersonal Communication

Answer these questions to learn more about the love languages you prefer. If you’re in a romantic relationship, consider inviting your partner to answer the same questions and then compare your responses. You may be surprised to find they aren’t identical.
Please note that this exercise is for self-study, and your instructor will not be able to see your responses.

You have had a stressful time working on a team project. The best thing your romantic partner can do for you is:
Set aside distractions to spend some time with you
Do your chores so you can relax
Give you a big hug
Pamper you with a dessert you love
Tell you the team is lucky to have someone as talented as you
What is your favorite way to show that you care?

Go somewhere special together
Do a favor without being asked
Hold hands and sit close together
Surprise your romantic partner with a little treat
Tell your loved one how you feel in writing
With which of the following do you most agree?

The most lovable thing someone can do is give you their undivided attention.
Actions speak louder than words.
A loving touch says more than words can express.
Your dearest possessions are things loved ones have given you.
People don’t say “I love you” nearly enough.
Your anniversary is coming up. Which of the following appeals to you most?

An afternoon together, just the two of you
A romantic, home-cooked dinner (you don’t have to lift a finger)
A relaxing massage by candlelight
A photo album of good times you have shared
A homemade card that lists the qualities your romantic partner loves about you

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Based on your responses, the following categories best describe your primary love language(s):

Quality Time
You feel loved when people set aside life’s distractions to spend time with you. Keep in mind that everyone defines quality time a bit differently. It may mean a thoughtful phone call during a busy day, a picnic in the park, or a few minutes every evening to share news about the day.

Acts of Service
You feel loved when people do thoughtful things for you, such as washing your car, helping you with a repair job, bringing you breakfast in bed, or bathing the children so you can put your feet up. Even small gestures say “I love you” to people whose love language involves acts of service.

Physical Touch
You take comfort and pleasure from physical affection. If your partner texts to say, “Wish we were snuggled up together!” they are speaking the language of touch.

Gifts
You treasure thoughtful gifts from loved ones. Your prized possessions are likely to include items that look inconsequential to others but have sentimental value to you because of who gave them to you.

Words of Affirmation
You value words that make us feel loved and valued, perhaps in a card, a song, or a text. To people who speak this love language, hearing that they are loved (and why) is the sweetest message imaginable.

Please complete all questions before submitting your responses.