Chapter 8 Communication Takeaways

Communicating with Friends and Family

Importance of Friends and Family

  • People typically treat friends as equals, can have numerous friendships, and can design friendships to suit their mutual needs.
  • People who share affection and resources as a family and who think of themselves and present themselves as a family are a family.

People Typically Choose to be Friends if They...

  • Have a lot in common
  • Balance each other out
  • Like and appreciate each other
  • Admire each other
  • Open up to each other
  • Interact frequently
  • Find the friendship rewarding

4 Reasons You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Be a Good Friend

  • First impressions can mislead.
  • Perfection can be a turn-off.
  • It's not all about communication, but it's a lot about communication.
  • Making an effort can bridge differences.

Types of Friendships

  • Short-term or long-term
  • Low or high disclosure
  • Doing- or being-oriented
  • Low or high obligation
  • Frequent or occasional contact

7 Communication Strategies for Being a Good Friend

  • Be a good listener.
  • Give advice sparingly.
  • Share feelings respectfully.
  • Apologize and forgive.
  • Be validating and appreciative.
  • Stay loyal in hard times.
  • Be trustworthy.
  • Give and take equally.

Gender and Friendship

  • Male friendships often involve good-natured competition and a focus on activities, whereas female friends tend to treat each other more as equals and to engage in emotional support and self-disclosure.
  • Can heterosexual men and women be just friends? Women typically say yes, but men are less certain.
  • Men often find it validating when female friends encourage them to be emotionally expressive, and women say they appreciate the opportunity to be concrete and direct with their guy friends.
  • Friendships with diverse people can diminish prejudice.

Online Friendships Differ from Those in Person in That

  • There is greater diversity online.
  • Many people share more in person, at least at first.
  • Online communication can be less anxiety provoking.
  • Online communication transcends time and space.
  • You're likely to have more online friends than you can actually keep up with.

Parenting Relationships

  • Families may make decisions based on conversations or on conformity with parents' wishes.
  • Parenting styles vary from authoritarian, to authoritative, to permissive.

Types of Sibling Relationships

  • Supportive
  • Longing
  • Competitive
  • Apathetic
  • Hostile

6 Communicating Tips for Strengthening Family Ties

  • Share family stories.
  • Listen to each other.
  • Negotiate privacy rules.
  • Coach conflict management.
  • Share confirming messages.
  • Have fun together.
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