- That's a really good point.
- I fuckin' hate (mumbles).
- It doesn't seem that bad anymore.
- There's, um, a...
- Voiceover: Should I even see if she's texted me?
Should I pull my phone out?
No, I haven't been listening to a...
Oh, my god, I'm not listening to this story.
Okay.
(soft upbeat music)
Oh, my god, my brain's going a mile a minute.
- Voiceover: We were on a river...
- Voiceover: Okay, nod your head, make eye contact.
- Voiceover: It's 2011...
- Voiceover: A mile a minute sounds much faster
than 60 miles an hour.
But those are, kind of, just the same thing.
All right, slow your brain down.
Slow this whole thing down.
Be a snail.
Oh, my god, he's looking at me now
asking me questions.
Make eye contact. Shake your head.
- Oh.
- Voiceover: What are snails even trying to do?
- So, okay, so we're in Arizona...
- Voiceover: Arizona?
- Voiceover: You ever been there?
- Voiceover: What the f***, who cares about Arizona?
- Arizona, just the state Arizona.
- No.
- It's a shitty, it's, like, Arizona has the desert,
and, like, sunsets...
- Voiceover: Think I'm a bad friend for not listening.
Am I a bad friend?
No, no, yeah, no,
yeah, no, no.
You're digging a hole.
- And we were really hungry...
- Voiceover: Pretend like you know what he's talking about.
Listen to key words, and you'll get right back in there.
Say something smart, say something intelligent,
say something...
- You live and you learn, you know?
- Yeah,
- Voiceover: Right, yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
(soft upbeat music)
Voiceover: Hey, I just realized
now that cell phones are becoming
more and more waterproof, it's gonna be
easier and easier to push people into the pool
without being the dick at the party.
(soft upbeat music)